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I’d like to thank Jack White and the White Stripes for that intro.  So, as I’ve said before, Hollywood has been stealing ideas from my head and, for lack of a better word, half-assing them.  Aww. But this time I was using my whole ass.  It recently came to my attention that they are now in the process of doing a remake of the Charles Bronson and Jan Michael Vincent classic (it is a classic, don’t try to disagree with me) The Mechanic.  This “gem” is a remake in name only, (I really have no idea what that means.  In truth it’s not a remake at all.  You can put a cat in the oven, and that don’t make it a biscuit. Thank you, Sidney Deane.) and is set to star none other than Mr. Crank, the Transporter, Handsome Rob himself, Jason Statham.  I have nothing against Handsome Rob, I call him that affectionately, I like him as an actor.  The Bank Job was a really good movie, and he’s done others I dig, but this makes it the second time.    Then I find out that there’s a remake of The Boys From Brazil in the works.  That makes four movies/ideas that have been yanked from my brain.  Death Race.  The Incredible Shrinking Man.  The Mechanic.  The Boys From Brazil.  No more I say!  To stop this unwanted invasion of my subconscious I have devised the most diabolic of plans.  I will now focus a great deal of attention on a remake of a movie that shouldn’t be remade, and give it the most preposterous plot.  To this end, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Mark to teach them a lesson.  Hollywood, steal this!  Now, without further ado, I present to you the brainstorm session for the big budget remake of the Chuck Norris classic (this one’s not really a classic) Missing in Action.     

Jerale: I’m going to starting giving a lot of focus to remaking…  What’s really horrible action or horror movie from the 80’s?

Mark: Missing In Action?

Jerale: Yeah, and I’ll set it in Iraq.

Jerale: They send in an elite group to rescue them, under the cover of silence.  The missing guy has info crucial to the war on terror

Jerale: The leader of the group will be…

Jerale: A pumped up Shia Lebouf

Mark: LOL

Jerale: And when they find the guy it’s Chuck Norris in a cameo

Jerale: And he says something like: “I never thought I’d find myself on this end of a rescue mission.”

Jerale: Ok.  The idea’s out there.  Now all we have to do is sit back and wait

Mark: I can’t wait

Mark: Shia’s no-nonsense sergeant is Wesley Snipes

Jerale: YES!

Mark: We need some expendable privates

Jerale: Will have Brian Singer attached to direct, but will drop out just before filming is set to start and will be replaced by John McTeirnan, Jan De Bont, or Renny Harlin

Jerale: Expendables?  Hurm..

Jerale: We can make Miley Cyrus Chuck’s worrying daughter

Mark: We need a smug Intel officer who backstabs the grunts

Jerale: We’ll get an old school actor in one of those welcome back to the big screen performances

Mark: Intel officer = John Lithgow?

Mark: Ohh, Philip Seymour Hoffman

Jerale: Oh.  He’d be good

Mark: Seedy Intel officers need to be a little soft

Mark: We need a techno-nerd

Mark: All modern action flicks have one

Mark: Jack Black

Jerale: Jonah Hill.  We need one of those guys you look at and say “there’s no way he’d be in the military, much less part of an elite force.”

Mark: Yes!

Mark: He can be a predator pilot

Jerale: LOL

Jerale: Michael Cera can be the new guy fresh outta training on his first real mission

Jerale: Kal Penn as the Iraqi bad guy

Mark: Cera needs to die almost immediately in a comic-tragic manner.  I’m thinking a one liner like, “That’s one small step for man…”  followed by him stepping on a landmine.

Mark: Kal needs to have a crucial goatee and an eyepatch

Jerale: LOL @ Cera

Jerale: Yes!

Jerale: We still need the expendables

Jerale: We need a British , Irish, or Scottish guy, just for flavor

Jerale: If he’s Irish, demolitions.  Scottish, heavy machine gun.  British, recon

Jerale: Casey Affleck as the Sarge’s next in command

Jerale: The Rock as a local freedom fighter that leads the group in, but turns on them at the end

Mark: Or vice versa

Mark: He could be CIA undercover as Al Quaeda

Jerale: Ooh.  That’s good

Jerale: Covert name: The Sand Worm.  Secret phrase: “The spice is life.”

Mark: Ha ha

Mark: Nerd shoutout!

Jerale: LOL

Mark: Jonah, the techno-nerd gave him the nickname, since he’s a big Herbert fan

Mark: This is golden

Jerale: Nick Cannnon as Doc

Jerale: John Cusak as the president.  He‘s the one that has to make the call to do the bomb drop if they aren’t out of the hot zone by 1300 hours.

Mark: Nice.  I also want Viggo Mortensen as the drill instructor for the squad when they first get to training.

Jerale: I can dig it

So, there you have it, in all its glory.  Hope you learned your lesson Hollywood.  Just be cool and wait for me to bring the ideas to you.  I’m not promising I can deliver gold, but I can definitely do better than the zinc you have been getting. 

 

JeraleC

Mindseyechronicles@comcast.net

Update: There is now an MIA remake in the works executive produced by Michael Bay, complete with jive talking robots

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I’m back from the Heroes Con, and all I can say is: WOW!  It was incredible.  Not only did I get to see Matthew and spend some time with him, but I got to make some new friends and fans.  First off, before I start dropping names like I’m at the Viper Room, I’d like to give a big thanks to my neighbors at the Con, Jolly Rogue Studios and God City.  Thanks for being so friendly.  In addition, I’d like to thank Brian Michael Bendis, Matt Fraction, Roy Thomas, Jamal Igle, David Mack, Georges Jeanty, Joe Pekar, Jay Fife, Frank Cho, Dexter Vines, Laura Martin, Wolly Vinyl- and his crew (love my zombie painting.  I’ve made some people jealous.), Marc Lewis, Elaine Corvidae, Jason Sobol, Erik Willimas, and a slew of others that are escaping me simply for a sheer lack of time. (That and I’m still exhausted.)  I especially want to thank Brandon Peterson.  I appreciate you taking the time out to come by the booth and talk with us.  It was great talking with you again.  Joe (man, I hope I’m remembering your name right), it was great meeting you.  Thank you for coming to see us. 

So, the daily blog update… didn’t happen.  Sorry, Charlie.  Couldn’t get a free wi-fi connection at the convention center or the hotel.  I really couldn’t see paying $10.-$15.00 a day for wireless just to do an hour or two’s worth of work.  There was a small dark spot to the otherwise incredible weekend, there was no appearance by William or his lovely wife.  Unfortunately, they ran into a snag at the last minute which prevented them from coming.  You guys were missed. 

Now then…   I wish I had taken more pictures.  There was so much to talk about and show.  Another special thanks to the Powerpuff Girls for sporting the gear.  And once again the day was saved.

I’m still amazed at how easy it is to get turned around at that place.  If it wasn’t for my booth being located on the outer edge, I might not have made it back.  All in all, it was a great experience.  I’m also shocked by how long it’s taken me to recover.  I can’t imagine how the others do this on a regular basis and still stay current with their work.  All that aside, I’m anxious to do another one.  No immediate plans as of yet, but I’ve been eyeing the X-Con in Myrtle Beach in October.  Plus, I’m laying the groundwork now for a repeat to the Heroes Con next year.  Now, as far as our regularly scheduled program… 

Matthew and I were able to get a nice little outline for our next book; only taking a small break from ROTSSo small.  So small.  If you like zombies let me hear you say brains!  Please don’t talk with your mouth full.  I’m still tossing around ideas for Unwanted Heroes.  Don’t give up on seeing that in the near future.  I want to have a good bit plotted out, and two parts done before I post anything.  Creating a brand new world isn’t as easy as it sounds.  Also, look for my second screenplay Chains to make its way to the sight in the next month or so.  It needs to be “cleaned up” a bit, but it’s coming.  Second you say?  Well the first one Blood Brothers is going to take a little more “cleaning” to bring up to par.

Okay, that’s all for this week.

JeraleC

Mindseyechronicles@comcast.net

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This is it.  Ground zero.  Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?” 

Actually I would.  Game face on people!  “And. Here. We. Go.”  Time to get my P.T. Barnum in full effect and put on my Kanye face; sans the afro-mullet.  Grabbing my books and shoving them in everyone’s face while screaming: “This is the flavor that they savor up here neighbor!”  Now you know if I’m pulling old school quotes from Sugar Hill then I must be serious.  If it makes you feel any better I can use: “I’m a hustler, baby.  I just want you to know.  It ain’t where ah been, but where ah’m about to go.”    

First, I got everything back from the printers.  I’ll run down the list real quick.  We’ve got ROTS lanyards, drawstring bags, postcards and bookmarks.  There are two different bookmarks; one with a Skull quote, and one with a Talon quote.  The bookmarks, and postcards are free giveaways; well not exactly.  Think of it like one of those timeshare pitches.  Sure you can have one, you just have to listen to my 5 minute sales pitch.  The ROTS bags and lanyards, the ROTS novel, and the special Con print version of The Unknown will be for sale.  Still working out the final prices for these items.  The books will be going for a special Con price of $10.00.  That’s a $4.95 savings that we’re passing on to you.  I’ll also have a ROTS “Zen” bag special.  Zen bag, you know, one with everything.  You get the bag, a copy of Riders of the Storm: The Legend of Skull and Talon, The Unknown, a lanyard, both bookmarks, and the postcard.    There will also be a limited signed and numbered edition of The Unknown signed by myself and the photographer Jessica “Pablo” Knight.  She also goes by the name of J Knight Shyamalan.   “What a twist!

So, what else?  Good question.  Not really sure.  I’m just kinda making this up as I go along.  I will say that I’m surprised by the amount of last minute planning and details that go into all this.  I’m still running around trying to make sure I have everything.  “Everyday ah’m hustlin’.  Everyday ah’m hustlin’.”  I wish there was more to say, but my mind won’t stay still long enough to focus.  I’ll make it simple.  Just come over and say hi.  You’ll still get the full blown incoherent, nonsensical, non-linear, ramblings in person that you get here.  Even more so. 

I’m hoping to do a daily Con update, but I’m not going to commit to it right now.  We’ll just have to see how things go. 

Ok.  It’s time to roll.  I’m cocked, locked, and ready to rock.  Let’s do this.

 

Jerale C

Mindseyechronicles@comcast.net

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Well, obviously I wasn’t able to finish the story like I wanted to.  Stresssss!  I’m overly stressing about the Con.  I’m trying not to, but it’s on my mind.  I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in about two months.  Oh man.  Still trying to put the finishing touches on everything from bookmarks and postcards, to booth accessories.  Having an assistant helps.  She deserves a lot of credit.  Helping come up with different ideas and approaches, and adding the little touches that really help. 

Everything seems to be coming so fast.  The booth assignments have now been posted.  For all those reading this and attending the Con you can find our motley crew at Booth 141 on the far left wall next to the restrooms and the concession stand.  So, if you plan on eating while you’re there, we’ll either catch you when you’re coming or when you’re going.  That’s bad I know.  Here’s a link to the PDF floor plan for the event:  http://www.heroesonline.com/images/heroescon/diagrams/hc09_diagram_hall-a.pdf.  On the diagram we’re at the bottom of the page.  Enough about that for now.  We’ve got next week’s blog dedicated to all that.  Let’s move along.

I’m considering putting the next ROTS book on hold to try and work on 117 Days In Hell.  Query. Why do labors of love take so long?  I’m not impatient, but why so long?  How does James Patterson do it?  He puts out a brand new book a month.  I don’t think Doubleday even sells anybody else’s work, just his.  You know how they think Da Vinci might not have been one person, but a collective of people?  Huh?  Huh?  What about Jimmie there?  I mean, have any of you ever met him?  Yeah, I know he did a voice on the Simpsons, but how do we really know that was him?  “How do the machines know what Tasty Wheat taste like?”  I mean the guy has to be on some kind of writing enhancing drugs.  Don’t they do drug testing for the Pulitzer and Newberry awards?  “You should.”  Still moving… 

I still have a lot of work in the works, including the Unwanted Heroes project.  This one is a bit of a stickler ’cause I want to do something different, but how do you write story about homeless teenage superheroes?  Trying to create the world is the hard part.  I want people like them to be established, but also outcasts.  How in a world with superheroes do you have a ragtag group of kids with powers that don’t feel they fit in anywhere?  Plus, I want to have superhero street gangs as well.  So, how do you incorporate all that in a world with heroes?  I’m leaning towards the approach that the big heroes can’t be everywhere, and they have to pick and choose they’re battles.  That’s where the Unwanteds fit in.  I dunno.  I’ll be able to give it more thought after another week or so.  Plus, the character names are troubling me.  I have a particular scheme I want that’s slowing me down.  It’ll be obvious once it all comes out, and don’t ask me why wanted this, but I do.  So, nyah. 

OK, that’s all for now.  “Stay gold, Pony Boy.” 

 

Jerale C

Mindseyechronicles@comcast.net

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            “It’s called a changeover.  The movie keeps going, and no one in the audience has any idea.” 

            Well, not exactly.  After the last blog, I’ve decided to change things up a bit.  I personally can’t stand reading these inane, random posts from people who think that the world at large cares what they had for breakfast.  Or that they’re such nice and decent people for not complaining about the toast being too dark on one side.  Blah!  That’s what they should call those, “Blah-gs.” 

            At the same time, writing mini-thesis’ about what I feel is this or that in writing is boring.  It’s not insightful, and it’s not my job.  I’m not entertaining anyone by writing blah-gs.  Mind’s Eye is about my writings, so, that’s what I’m gonna give you.  Along with a little dose of neurosis.  I recently realized I’m neurotic.  Who knew?  Shut up, Matthew! And, I swear if you tell that Mighty Max joke one more time, so help me…  You don’t see me telling the world about how when you were drunk you threatened to shoot me for looking at your girl.  While I’m at it.  The Adventures of Mighty Max on dvd would be a great thing.  I’d also like to see Eek! The Cat and Bruno the Kid, too. 

            So, where was I…  The Charlotte Heroes Con is getting closer and closer.  I keep thinking of that line in Chasing Amy where Alyssa says: “If I sell one book I feel like John Grisham.”  Come on people, help me feel like John Grisham, won’t you?  LOL.  Things are slowly coming together, thanks in great part to my wonderful assistant.  Yes, I have an assistant now.  Thank God.  Once we get the Heroes Con behind us, we’re headed to the San Diego Con and then the Wizard World Chicago.  We’ve got a busy schedule.  No, not really.  But once Heroes is behind us, my assistant will have a new job of keeping me on task and focused to get more things done, and done timely.  Sshhh!  Don’t say anything, cause she doesn’t know it yet.  She also has the most arduous task of keep me relaxed and somewhat serene of mind.  Ha!  She’s gonna start wishing she was paid more. 

            So, what are these tasks that need to be focused on?  As things are, I’ve made some pretty good headway into finishing up Pray Predator.  I’ve bridged a lot of stuff together, but I’ve hit a small snag.  Nothing major.  It’s just going to take a little bit of thinking to accomplish what I want overall.  I really like what I’ve done recently.  I’ve even added a nod to Neil Gaiman and a special thanks to him at the end of the story.  For anyone that’s read that issue of Sandman, I think you’ll agree that it wasn’t something I need to do, per se, but it seemed right.  On top of that, there’s still he second ROTS book.  The ideas for this one keep coming.  It’s going to be so much more than the first, it makes me excited.  While at the Con, Matthew and I will be doing a Vulcan mind meld to lay down the stories for 117 Days In Hell.  The plans we have for that already are great, so once we lay it all down, it’s going to be incredible.  We’re hoping to have it finished by year’s end.  “Like a boss!”  Yeah, I have no idea why I just said that.  Plus, I’m going to start laying the ground work for a new special project that involves zombies.  If you know me, then you know I love zombies.  For those of you attending the Con, make sure you stop buy and check out the special convention printing of The Unknown.  I’ll be re-teaming with the photographer from that on the new project.  I guarantee you it’s gonna be sweet. 

            That’s all for now.  Hopefully, next week I’ll be telling you that Pray Predator is finished.  And for those of you that were getting a little nervous the closer you got to the end of the blog cause of the Fight Club referenced title…  Let me assuage your fears.  I have not spliced anything into the last sentence on this *big rooster* blog. 

Jerale C

Mindseyechronicles@comcast.net

 

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