About Me

Wouldn’t that be the perfect title for a zombie story?  Nope.  Back off!  That’s mine now, yo. 

I just thought of that when I was typing this.  Somebody give me a Joey Lawrence Blossom era “whoa!”   So, while we’re on the subject of zombies, let me share a blast from my geeky past with this little rhyme: “By what creeps, what crawls.  By what does not.  Let all that grows recede/decay and rot.”  I had to put “recede/decay” in there, cause the back o the toy said one thing, but the cartoon said another.  I loved the Visionaries cartoon. Inhumanoids was good, too.  Metlar, Tendril, and Decompose.  I think they were both a little ahead of their time as far as concepts went.  Maybe not.  I know at least three other character rhymes from that show as well.  Anyway, I’m getting off topic.  Zombies.

I love zombies.  They’re probably the one “horror” creature that actually scares me.  Frankenstein.  I got no beef with him.  Werewolves.  They’re cool.  I’d pick them second as which one I’d like to be.  Mummies.  Next.  C’mon.  Honestly.  What is scary about a mummy?  Unless you’re gonna tie me down and force me to watch Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor.  Now that’s scary.  As far as an actual monster, I’ve got 5 words: “Zeke, get the diesel fuel.”  Vampires.  Yes, please.  You’re damn skippy I’d like to be a vampire, but I’m talking David from Lost Boys, Jerry Dandridge from Fright Night, Vlad Dracula from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, not none of that crappy I-can-walk-out-in-the-sunlight Twilight crap, or freakin’ Emo-brooding-man-loving Anne Rice stuff (oh, they were Emo, don’t kid yourself).  I’m talking powers, bloodlust, immortality, and a tad bit crazy vampire.  Das Vampyre.  Again, I’m getting off subject.  Zombies. 

Um- I don’t want to be a zombie.  Hell, I don’t want to die, I sure as hell don’t want to come back as a dead version of myself.  You think I’m ugly now, you don’t want to see me three years and a quarter of a half-life later.  Ugh!  That said, I love zombies.  They are truly frightening.  I realize I’m preaching to the choir here, since everyone seems to have gotten on the zombie bandwagon recently- “But, I’m not dead yet.”  “Sure you are.”  I think one of the most frightening things about the living dead- excuse me while I teach class here for a moment.  Just imagine I’m telling you about nitrate films.  Zombies are the living dead.  Vampires are the undead.  Let’s just keep that straight.  Ok, now back to our regularly schedule program, already in progress- ok, so the most frightening thing is that once the dead start to come back to life, it’s all over.  They automatically outnumber the living 2 to 1, and their ranks grow with every third attack.  I say every third, because 2 times out of 3, they’re gonna eat you all up, or rip you into pieces that don’t really matter.  Hey, what if Frankenstein was the first zombie?  He’s just reanimated flesh, right?  Well what if he was the catalyst (I like that word.  I like the way it sounds) for the dead rising.  I don’t know, could be something there.  Wow, I just realized I sound like Will Ferrell doing Harry Caray just then. 

So, zombies.  I think the other thing that really puts the fear into people is that there’s nothing that can be done.  Once it begins, it’s only a matter of time.  Death is inevitable.  The only way to truly get rid of them all is to nuke the planet, and then what?  Exactly.  So, on this final note, Die And Let Live is moving right along.  I made a personal goal to finish this and 117 Days In Hell before the end of the year, and I will.     

This is me, signing off.  And remember: “Drink more Ovaltine.”


Jerale C


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